


all the shades of sunshine

by zenosungs (pastelkoma)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Requited Love, Unrequited Love, everyone else is there but they're not the main focus, reset theory, yooseven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25013281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelkoma/pseuds/zenosungs
Summary: "Seven—stop!" Yoosung breathlessly squeaks within an unprecedented burst of sunlight-colored laughter, a sound so warm, honey-glazed, soft. Merciless, Seven lets a smile tug at the corners of his lips before digging his fingers back in Yoosung's sides, tickling the younger (and if it's just to hear his honeycomb laughter, Seven wouldn't tell anyone, he wouldn't dare).He knows that when he wakes up, the warmth will disappear and he'll be back in his own bed, no Yoosung with him.But if Seven can allow himself this moment, one moment to have this soft sunshine in his arms, albeit how temporary it may be... he'll take it. He'll let himself have this, just for once.(OR: Seven has gone through the same resets over and over again. He has to do something about it, for himself; and for Yoosung, too.)
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Kim Yoosung
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	all the shades of sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> hi!
> 
> my first work in this fandom :0 hope it isn't completely dead yet;;
> 
> anyway! this fic includes the reset theory and it also may contain spoilers but only if you haven't done everyone's route yet (excluding saeran and v)  
> my writing is a tad rusty, so please don't mind that. i promise i'll try doing better :,) oh also as i was scrolling thru yooseven fics to read, i saw one that was similar to the plot of this one?? i didn't read it but if you did, i swear i am not copying, i plan to add my own elements to this plot
> 
> maybeee trigger warning? im not completely sure yet, but just in case.
> 
> prepare for heartbreak :D 
> 
> HERE'S THE PROLOGUE! it's short! the rest of the chapters WILL be unbearably long so just stick with me!

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It’s taken a lot of energy to feel anything at all, he realizes; even though it’s a common occurrence, he is numb more than usual, down to his fingertips, feeling it in his bones, and the shakiness within them that makes him feel as if he might just shatter already. With a sigh that’s too quiet to garner attention, he tilts the wine glass back up to his lips. Sips. Swallows.

But apparently, he was not quiet enough for the ears of a certain someone—

“Seven?” comes the innocent, lilting voice colored with unfaltering purity that Seven is used to, as it has been for a long eternity that he can’t really keep up with anymore. Yoosung plops down in the seat next to the redhead, starting to restlessly kick his heels on the floor as soon as he settles himself. Seven, wine glass still to his lips, can feel Yoosung’s eyes on him, watching intently. He makes no move to return the gaze. “Ah,” Yoosung continues after a good long silence, “Are you okay?”

“Peachy,” Seven murmurs after a little bit, and the blond gives a slight grin before taking Seven’s wine glass for a sip of his own. Seven is far from peachy, but this is _Yoosung_ , and with any other member maybe he would’ve been a little more hostile, a little more flat with his usually lively voice, but with Yoosung he can’t help but want to make the blond truly believe that Seven is completely well. So he smiles a little bit and forces himself to look at him—yellow meets violet, soft and even though Seven wants to reassure Yoosung, the warmth that suddenly erupts in his chest makes him begin to believe that the blond is the one reassuring him.

Yoosung hums, setting the wine glass down on a nearby table. “Little less energy than usual,” he notes, reaching a finger up and poking Seven on the cheek, a grin plastering to his lips once Seven snorts a little bit. “You completely sure?”

“As ever, Cutie Yoosung.”

“Ah,” comes the soft noise. Yoosung gives his cheek another gentle poke before purple eyes turn to the large crowd, and only then does Seven start to hear how loud the entire audience is being. Yoosung seems unbothered, a bigger smile replacing his small one. “We’re finally having the party again. It’s been so long, and thanks to MC’s help, we did it!”

 _MC_ —at the mention of her, Seven can’t help but clench his wine glass a little tighter. In anger? Resentment? As time went on, how Seven felt about her varied, but as of now, everything is just a muddled cloud of red when he thinks about her, and he'd like to think his anger is justified.

“The party,” Seven croaks out. “Yeah. We did it.”

“Don’t act _so_ surprised,” Yoosung giggles, a slight teasing tone adorning his voice as he lightly pushes Seven’s arm. “Cheer up! Eleven days ago, I never would have even thought about the party happening again. It seemed so distant, especially after Rika, but we finally did it! RFA is victorious again!”

 _Eleven days ago,_ echoes Yoosung’s voice in Seven’s head. Eleven days ago, he woke up, checked the messenger app, and went through the same exact fucking exchange of messages as he had done every single set of eleven days, with no escape. If the RFA is victorious, then Seven is the biggest total loser to ever exist on the face of this faux world. He can’t win. He learned that a long, long time ago.

“Hey.” Yoosung again, albeit softer. Warmer, something stable that Seven feels like he can latch onto, but also something that he feels like he isn’t allowed to. “Seriously, you aren’t looking so good. Do you need some fresh air? Come on, I’ll take you outside.”

No. _No_ , _**nonono—**_

Seven can’t allow himself to have this moment, to have _one fucking moment_ , because he has gone through the exact same exchange of words as before with the same person, same _people_ , and so life goes on. Suffering through the resets, yellow meeting violet every time, similar circumstances, but all leading back to one person and the one thing she always does. MC, and the resets, and the goddamn memories that Seven so desperately wants to erase from the catacombs of his mind, memories he wants to shred apart, while the other members start fresh anew every time after the resets. Unable to recall. Part of this game.

He has learned a long time ago that he just can’t let himself have these moments. He can already see the outcomes of him going outside with Yoosung; a soft smile under pale yellow moonlight, the allowance of sentiments, and Seven will break down in front of Yoosung. Then he will open his eyes again, and it’ll be the start of another playthrough of the game MC has control over. Another eleven days (less, if MC is unfortunate enough to get bad endings) and no one will have memory of this day.

Just him. Only he will.

“Oh… no, it’s fine, I’m fine,” Seven whispers, because the day is already coming to a close, he has suffered through enough of this same exact day to already be aware of when it ends. MC was on Zen’s route this time; Good Ending as well, Seven recognizes it. Soon, Zen will go onstage and profess his love for MC (a sight that Seven knows all too damn well), then he’ll suffer through another reset, another memory destined to stick beside him forever like gum he can’t peel off.

Last route, Seven spent the last moments of Day 11 with Zen. The route before that, it was Jaehee whom he stayed with before the reset. And then Yoosung again the route before that. It doesn’t make it any more bearable, but the mere presence of another member by his side before he’s shot headfirst into the void before a new route is—comforting, in a sense.

“You’re a pretty bad liar sometimes, for someone who pulls the meanest pranks,” Yoosung deadpans, but there’s still something there in his voice. Gentleness, maybe, tenderness. A semblance of temporary safety in the final moments of the game they were in, pawns that MC played in the game of chess that made up Seven’s entire reality as he knows it.

_Fuck—_

It usually never gets to him anymore, but sometimes, he needs time to just _breathe_.

Yoosung finds his hand, squeezes it softly, as all the lights dim except for the stage that’s illuminated, and Seven can already see it in his mind. Zen, standing on there, an image that he has seen time and time again, as he pulls MC up and they share one final moment before the goddamn fated reset.

Seven closes his eyes for a second. Lets himself listen to the thundering heartbeat reverberating in his ears. Squeezes Yoosung’s hand back. (He really doesn’t want to let go, anyway.)

Zen goes onstage as Seven predicted, with a smile just as bright as the lights that shine upon him. Seven catches a glimpse of MC’s brown hair out of the corner of his eye, and without meaning to, he squeezes Yoosung’s hand, hard. But if it bothered Yoosung, he didn’t say anything. Attuned to Seven’s emotions; that doesn’t change, along with everything else that never does.

Zen starts to talk, but Seven can’t force himself to listen. He has heard the same speech over and over again to the point where he could recite it as his own.

However, he does know that with every word that comes out of Zen’s mouth, the closer and closer it gets to the reset, to the end of this route, and then he will open his eyes and go through the process again and again and again. The thought of it makes his breath hitch, makes him nauseous, as it happens to do so every single time. He doesn’t know what he’s ever done in life to make him deserve the knowledge of the game, of how faux his perception of reality is, and why only _he_ knows. Why did it have to be _him?_ Why couldn’t it be anyone else, anyone at all, to know? Why did he have to be the stupid goddamn error in this game, unfixable, _disgustingly aware—_

Yoosung squeezes his hand.

Seven takes in a sharp breath; his lungs are screaming at this point for some air. He lets himself look at Yoosung, who has granted him a small smile, delicate, something that Seven wants to take and nurture so beautifully so that he can see that same smile forever. Wants to take a picture of this sight, frame the exact image somewhere in his mind, something good to stick to amongst all the heartbreak he has to endure, something akin to a breath of fresh air in a world where Seven has forgotten how to even tell himself breathe.

If there’s anything good about the resets, it’s the amethyst eyes that always greet him with the same type of love every single time.

It all feels nostalgic, in a way. Seven can’t remember if he’s ever had this exact same exchange with the blond before, but it’s all too familiar, as almost every interaction with him is at this point. Probably something similar to this has happened before, though. Something that gives Seven the exact same eruption of desperation, laced with gentle fondness, within his chest.

Even as Yoosung turns his gaze back to the stage, Seven keeps his eyes on him.

Yoosung doesn’t know he is living through the same cycle again (they all are). For him, this party is a new scene, something that has happened for the first time in some few long years after his cousin’s death. Seven takes it back; if it’s anyone else except _Yoosung_ to be cursed like this, Seven is okay with that. He’d rather it be him, than the blond, to go through all of this.

But then again, Yoosung is not an error like Seven is. He is the opposite, a seed of innocence somewhere hidden deep within the pits of his stomach, milky skin that is capable of holding galaxies just as his eyes can do the same. He makes the days more bearable for someone so irrevocably shattered as Seven, a blessing amidst whatever curse has been put on the redhead; sunshine during the day, softly lit radiance of cosmic constellations during the night.

“My heart is beating towards one person…” Zen goes on, his voice finally becoming clear in the murky deluge that is Seven’s mind, and he breaks his gaze from Yoosung to look toward the stage. It’s nearing the end. Fuck, _fuck_ , it’s nearing the end. Any second now, Yoosung will yell for MC—

“MC...!” Yoosung calls out, cupping his mouth with his free hand, his other one resting warm and safe in Seven’s slightly larger one. “Aren’t you going to go?”

This is it, Seven realizes, as he looks at Yoosung again, the boy watching MC walk onstage. Yoosung is lit with a smile bestowed from the heavens, brighter than anything Seven has ever seen. 

Yoosung, please. Don’t go.

Up on the stage, Zen has MC in his arms, a hand streaking through her hair. Down in the back of the party hall is 707, Defender of Justice, Honey Buddha Chip addict, professional hacker, overcome with such _bitter desperation_ and resentment and longing for another ending of his story that he never, ever, _ever_ gets to choose for himself.

Zen speaks:

_“I just wanted…”_

Seven turns and tugs Yoosung into a crushing embrace, and while the blond lets out a soft sound of surprise, Seven is burying his head in his shoulder—he can catch the fleeting scent of faint vanilla, he can taste cinnamon on his tongue.

_“...To tell the whole world…”_

Yoosung wraps his arms around the redhead as quickly as he comes. “Seven?” he mutters, but not angrily, just. Delicate. Confused, of course, but tender in only the way that he encapsulates entirely, and Seven is hit with such painfully desperate yearning for this moment to just freeze in time, for forever, maybe. Just to have Yoosung in his arms, just for a little bit longer. _Please_.

_“...That you’re mine.”_

Seven may be an error, and he may be living a curse. But if he isn’t allowed to have a moment for himself, for him and Yoosung, him and the others… he can at least take a second to be wrapped up in the arms of a sunshine boy, the warmth from him heating Seven right up, from the burst of it in his heart all the way down to the tips of his toes. Something bittersweet in all of its entirety, but with Yoosung, the sweet outweighs the bitter. _I know I’m a fuck-up, but please, let me stay in his arms just for a little bit longer. Please. Whether it be for another few minutes, seconds, I don’t care._

Seven closes his eyes, breathes in another whiff of that faint vanilla. His sunshine boy is so warm in his arms. 

Zen finishes. _“I love you.”_

A beat of silence.

Two.

And the sunlit warmth is gone.

The next time Seven opens his eyes, he’s in his bed, it’s sunny, and he brings an arm up to shield his eyes. 

_No._

The sinking realization sets deep, _deep_ within his stomach, and he sits up, hands as tremulous as his breathing. Putting a hand to his mouth, he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to somehow feel the warmth that he was given just a few moments ago, but _it isn’t there_ , and neither is Yoosung.

He swallows thickly, shaking his head, pulling his knees to his chest. The bed groans beneath him, barely concealing the soft sob that escapes his chapped lips. There is sunlight filtering through the open blinds on the window, but it isn’t the same, not like it can be. Everything has turned a familiar cold that Seven experiences every time but can never get used to.

Deep breath—

He holds it for a little before breathing out.

Beside him, his phone pings from a notification, as it has done too many times that Seven has lost track of it over the course of this cycle, signaling MC’s fate to return to their world, ready to play them all and decide their destinies as she has done every time, selfishly without even knowing.

With a sigh, Seven wipes the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand, picks his phone up robotically, no time to prepare himself for another set of eleven days before everything is painfully ripped away from him once more, and he'll undoubtedly shatter again and again into uncountable fragments, not even caring to glue himself back together.

He just doesn’t know how much longer of this he could take. How long until he has to do _something_ about it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading~  
> if you have any requests or ideas (for one-shots preferably) you can also drop them :) i'd love working on some stuff while i also work on this fic!


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